The success of comprehending each elephant is like the moment of reward that comes with having successfully picked up a peanut with your trunk. The Periodic Table makes one wish the real world was composed of such molecular wit, charm, creativity, and immersive joy; and suddenly it is.”

Mark Mitchell


The Elephants print is spread out on the kitchen table, and the Hell print is on the dining room table, so we stood up to eat dinner. All evening I could hear stocking-feet as my family went back to look again, then a shout of joy or laughter.”

— Maria Cannon

My son saw the Elephants. He loves quantum physics. He looked for a minute. Wait, he said, that’s not the periodic table. I said, It’s a Periodic Table of Elephants. Three seconds passed (he’s 7). I watched. His brain exploded. He got such a big grin. He saw possibility, imagination.

My mom said, why did they make a Periodic Table of Elephants? I said: because of the joy of being alive.”

— Jennifer Hole


“You got all 118.”

— Robert Gatewood

The Authoritative & Complete Periodic Table of the Elephants by Bry O’Shaughnessy* compiles all the known elephants in a logical and easy-to-use tabular format. Exhibit as a curiosity for family, friends, colleagues. Or fold and carry with you everywhere as a field guide.

“Gentlemen,” returned Mr. Micawber, “do with me as you will! I am but a straw upon the surface of the deep, and am tossed in all directions by the elephants— I do beg your pardon. I should have said the elements.” — Dickens’s David Copperfield

Bry O’Shaughnessy* has been drawing elephants since he was three. None ever looked like anything but lumps of dough. He once sent a drawing to The New Yorker of two birds sitting on a bare bough in winter beside little drinking cups made from acorns. One bird is saying, “Generally speaking, I don’t like bugnog, but I like your bugnog.” Both birds looked like lumps of dough. The drawing was returned with a warm and kind note.

stay disinformed.

*Bry O’Shaughnessy is one of six or seven pen names used by Tommy Gilboy, probably to avoid taxes. The Periodic Table of the Elephants is an entry in our Large-Format Disinformation Graphics series. Subscribe and receive infrequent updates on these and other items from Smallwhisky House. We do not share your information with anyone.

Note: We do not collect your cookie information for purposes of analytics, marketing, or idle nosiness; those few cookies we do collect enable the shopping cart and checkout functions, customer accounts, and url re-directs.